The Goth Test
Stolen from Sexbat's "Take A Bite"
Scoring - Count 1 for each item that you have done, or each question that
you can answer correctly. If you don't know the 'correct' answer then
you've got it wrong.
And now, the test:
Section 1 - What *do* you look like?
- Do you have black, purple, or white hair?
- Do you dye your hair?
- Do you dye your hair every 4 weeks?
- Every week?
- Do you have or have you ever had hair extensions?
- Is there such a thing as 'too much' hairspray?
- Do you own more eyeliner pencils than ordinary pencils?
- Do you wear your makeup to bed? (bonus point if you don't go to bed)
- Could you underpin a building with your foundation?
- Does it take you more than an hour to get ready to go out?
- Can you put eyeliner on without using a mirror?
- Has anyone asked you if you 'sharpen your feet'?
- Do you have more buckles than toes?
- Have you worn fishnet on your arms?
- Do you set off the metal detector at airports?
Section 2 - Music, Musicians, Muses
- Do you know every Sisters of Mercy Song?
- Can you do the actions?
- Have you ever seen - Bauhaus?
- The Virgin Prunes?
- Alien Sex Fiend?
- The Sisters of Mercy?
- The Fields of the Nephlim (or the Nephlim)
- Can you name the original line-up of Christian Death?
- Have you ever ligged a band on the goth list?
- Have you ever had a pass to one of these bands?
- Did you use it?
- Have you been to an aftershow party with a famous goth band?
- Were the members of the band scared of you?
- Was the last song you heard gothic?
- Have you been in a goth band?
Section 3- Clubs
- Have you been to a goth club?
- Did you stay until the end?
- Can you slamdance?
- Can you chicken dance?
- Can you do the backwards forwards bending over like Peter Murphy Dance?
- Do you drink snakebite?
- Did you go to the Batcave?
- Are you on the guest list?
- Are you on first name terms with the DJ?
- Are you the DJ?
Section 4 - The Undead
- Have you got naturally pointy teeth?
- Have you worn plastic vampire teeth other than at Halloween.
- Did you pick someone up as a result?
- Have you had sex with the undead?
- Have you been to the Wiredog Club (or equivalent)
- Are you a vampire?
- How do you do your makeup if you haven't got a reflection?
- Have you ever drunk blood?
- Have you ever drunk human blood?
- From a glass?
Section 5 - On the road
- Have you ever been in a following?
- Did you ever follow Southern Death Cult, Play Dead, X-Mal, The Sisters?
- Have you contributed to a fanzine?
- Have you edited a fanzine?
- Have you sold a fanzine?
Section 6 - At the movies
- Have you seen The Hunger?
- Have you seen Return of the Living Dead?
- Have you seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
- Have you seen the Addams Family (TV Show)?
- Do you think it's better than the Munsters?
Section 7 - Hardercore than thou?
- Do you own...A Tarot Deck?
- .. Lots of weird silver jewelry?
- .. Mainly black clothes?
- .. More boots than shoes?
- .. An original copy of Walk Away (with the flexi)?
- .. An inflatable banana?
- Have you ever been called a goth?
- Did you deny it?
- Do you ever refer to other people as mini-goths or quantum-goths?
- Do you get upset when it rains, but still sing 'I love the rain?'
- Have you been on alt.gothic since it started?
- Have you actually read Shelley?
- Do you have a fetish?
- Have you flirted with magick or alternative religions?
- Do you object fundamentally to this test even though you scored over 80
points on it?
Section 8 - What's the difference
between a Casual and a Redneck?
- Do the people you meet on the streets often ask you if you're on
your way to a funeral?
- Do you encounter carloads of people who make sarcastic comments
about the fact that Halloween is X months away?
- Do your teachers, peers, etc., often recommend that you see a counselor?
- Do you have a pet snake, spider, or a reasonable facsimile thereof?
- Have you painted your bedroom black?
- Are your parents/friends afraid that you've committed suicide if you
stay in your room for more than an hour at a time?
- Do you habitually wear dark sunglasses, at all hours of the day?
- Do you go by a Gothic/Romantic name on the net? (i.e. made up)
- Do you go by a Gothic/Romantic name in real life? (i.e. made up)
- Is there any difference between a Casual and a Redneck?
- Have you ever been propositioned by a drunk Casual/Redneck?
- Did you hospitalise them?
- Did you hospitalise them in a really messy way?
- Have you ever gone up to a bunch of these people and said 'What the
F**K do you think you're looking at?'
- Do you have the scars to prove it?
Section 9 - Brown Questions (Art Literature)
- Have you read any Poe?
- ................. Dante?
- ................. Shelley?
- Who was 'Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know?'
- Can you tell the difference between Norman and Gothic Churches?
- Have you read any Lovecraft?
- ................. Gothic Novels?
- ................. de Sade?
- Do you like ol-rapheltie or romantic art?
- Have you heard Verdi's Requiem?
Section 10 - Courtesy of the University of London Union Old Goth
- Can you name all the bands on the Merciful Release label?
- Do you know what the Birthday Party were called before they were called
The Birthday Party?
- Who play 'House Music for Goths?'
- Do you own a pair of crimpers?
- Do you tie an obscene number of scarves to your waist?
- Do you know what this signifies?
- Have you ever been part of a pyramid?
- Do you know the name of Eldritch's cat?
- Does God drive a white Merc?
- Who's the fairest of them all?
Section 11 - Drugs
- Do you or have you ever smoked?
- ..............................Clove, Marlborough, or Death?
- Have you ever had speed before breakfast?
- ....................... instead of breakfast?
- Is caffeine more important than sunlight?